Happy Valentine's Day!

I really love Valentine's Day, but unfortunately my Valentine has been taken over by something known as the Bar Monster. I imagine that the monster will look like this once Mike slays him next week:

The scary part is that this is real

In spite of the rain on my parade, I made my Valentine some heart shaped sugar cookies and plan on spending my Valentine's night doing the following:


1. Attending a book signing and discussion with Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond.


I am imagining a group of single hormonal women and Ree, probably wondering why the hell we are spending our Valentine's evening at a book signing and not out with significant others (or at least trying to find a significant other, in most circumstances.) This setting reminds me of when I accidentally walked in on a book signing with Rick Springfield. I wasn't star struck, especially not after he strutted into Jessie's Girl, but 100 other forty something crying women certainly were...

2. Making Mexican Lasagna for dinner


3. Watching the Bachelor (can we PLEASE get rid of Mic-HELL-e already???)


4. Reading some more of Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand.


5. Sobbing into my pillow about being lonely and missing my husband while Banks comforts me


Heh heh just kidding about that last part...


Happy Valentine's Day Y'all! 


Love you!
Kristen

Shake it up baby now!

You know you're old when...


your Friday night plans include chaperoning the Middle School Valentine's Dance.

This is not what it looks like

I am about as excited as I would be if someone forced me into oncoming traffic. 

I know, I know... but watching your students, your babies, bump and grind with each other is just so uncomfortable. I wish I was 7 years old again and my parents were present to force me to cover my eyes during the scary parts of Jurassic Park. 

I've actually only been to 2 or 3 school dances. Starting in 7th grade, I attended a religious school and well, they did not dance. One year some parents rebelled and hosted a Halloween Dance. I'm not sure if it was the dancing part, the celebrating Halloween part, or both, but all hell broke loose on campus and at one point they threatened to punish us if we went.  We went anyway. Ohhh I know, we were so BAD.

I tried to go as a "stylish bunny" but my parents weren't cool with that for some reason.

Maybe this is why I went to private school. Oh my high school... thats a blog topic for another day.

Anyway, here's an early toast to a better attitude! Happy Friday Y'all!

I'm not gonna write you a love song, but how about a letter?

I follow the Smithsonian on Twitter and today they posted a link to information about their newest exhibit: love letters. Wow, if only I lived in D.C. right now. M- go! Go and tell me all about it. 

Looking through these made me wistful. What a forgotten pastime! Write a letter? Why write a letter when I could call him? Why call him when I could shoot him a quick email? Y email whn i cld txt?

I love these letters for many reasons, but mainly because they are so pure. What is more beautiful than being so in love that you're willing  to reveal the most intimate parts of your soul in an honest,  raw, no-holds-barred type of way? That you're inclined to make it a permanent declaration?

Here are some of my favorites:

Rockwell Kent to Francis Kent, 1893.

Frida Kahlo to Nickolas Murray, 1939
"My Child, I really shouldn't complain about anything that happens to me in life, as long as you love me and I love you."

Moses Soyer to David Soyer, 1940

Valentines Day is four days away! What words would you write to your Valentine?


Yay for Thursday! -Kristen

I left my heart in San Fr... er, Sebastian

As it is my fifth snow day and I am getting a little antsy, this is where I wish I was right now:

La playa de la Concha, San Sebastian, Spain

I would bring Mike and we would stay at Hotel Londres on Playa de la Concha.

We would have the same room that we had last summer, with a balcony opening up to the beach. We'd leave the doors open at night to hear the waves crashing on the beach and wake up to the bright sunshine, smells of the salt water, and sounds of people laughing and playing on the beach.

We would first go to la parte vieja (old town) for shopping

and of course, stop at a bar to make a big plate of pinxtos (tapas) y vino tinto for lunch.

We'd then head back to our hotel, put on our swimsuits, and head to la concha to spend the rest of the afternoon on the beach and in the ocean with our books (me) and iPods (Mike.)

Mid afternoon, we'd head up and get dressed, then walk along the pier to take the funicular 

up to the top of the mountain on the other side of the city. We'd share a bottle of wine and look down at our excellent view

and then we'd head back to the hotel bar to watch futbol, and as luck would have it, the World Cup would be on again (already?!) and Spain would be playing. And I would get to stare at this

Cesc Fabregas (ARSENAL!!!)

and this

Fernando Torres (Chelsea, but i'll take him)

and this

Xabi Alonso (Real Madrid, meh... alright, he can stay)

and... okay I will stop.

Oh I wish I was Basque and could spend my life in San Sebastian. I'd get to live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, among the nueve riche meets hippie artisty fartsy meets relaxed meets beautiful (oh, I mentioned that already?) meets most wonderful place on earth. 

I'd get to eat the best food, speak the most beautiful language (you haven't heard beautiful Spanish until you've traveled to Spain, it is completely different) and siesta and fiesta ALL DAY LONG EVERY DAY. Bold statement.

Ahhhh, the life I wish I was living today. Especially because the buzzer just chimed for me to fold the laundry.

A Tuesday Thought

I have horrible writers block and almost made you sit through an entire entry about my cat. Therefore I am just going to put up a quote that I read last night and really liked.


" Our words often reflect the condition of our hearts." - Kendrick

Strange Occurrences at Great American Cookie

I'm back! Again. Due to the ice storm, hubby had to study for the BAR at home and as my computer is not functioning he had reign over the internets. That is not a typo, it makes me laugh when old people call it "the internets."

Anyway, today, when talking to my friend K, I was reminded of a two very strange stories that involve me and a company called Great American Cookie. I've decided that this is what I will blog about today.

First of all, I should say that I am a sucker for Great American Cookie. It is really hard for me to walk past one and not buy a cookie. This is strange because A) I'm not really a dessert person and B) I don't even really like the ones with the icing all over them. I simply cannot resist the warm pecan chocolate chip cookies that they bake and so on occasion i'll stop by and get one. 

However, after two strange back to back trips to the cookie counter, I had to stop doing that.

The first incident occurred in Austin, Texas at Barton Creek Mall. I was in line behind a lady and her two sons. 

The older son, around 7 or 8 years old, was very excited about getting a cookie. Probably as excited externally as I was internally. Anyway, he could not decide what he wanted and went from one end of the counter to the other, looking, smelling, smearing his little hands and face on the glass. He began to grow anxious. This was overwhelming to him.

So he threw up. 

All over the glass. And his shoes and the floor. The boy behind the counter was horrified, I was upset. I think I even said, "ew sick" or something rude like that.

Needless to say, I didn't get a cookie that day.

Here is where it gets really weird:

About a month later (allowing myself time to get over barf boy) I was at North Star Mall in San Antonio. I decided to pick up some cookies for my sister and of course, get one or two for myself as well.

I walked up behind this lady wearing  a fur coat (irrelevant) asking the woman behind the counter if she was okay. We will call her Jane. I looked up and saw that the Jane was pretty pale and profusely sweating. Jane assured Faux Fox that she was fine, sold her some cookies, and then it was my turn.

I stepped up to the counter to place my order with Jane, when all of a sudden Jane grabbed her stomach and yelped in pain. Jane began to moan "muhhhhh uuuuhhhhh ooooowwwww." I proceeded to ask Jane if she was alright. Again, Jane tried to assure me that she was. So I placed my order.

Jane backed away from the counter and continued to moan and grab her stomach as she got my cookies ready. I let Jane know that I could go get someone to assist her if she needed me to. Jane really seemed to be in quite a substantial amount of pain, but alas, she once again told me that she was fine. 

Jane put the cookies on the counter and went to get my diet coke. All of a sudden, mid pour, Jane stopped, grabbed her belly and let out a gut curdling animalistic howl.

Then she peed on the floor.

In the middle of Great American Cookie.

In front of me.

It gets worse. 

Jane was in so much pain that she just kind of collapsed in her urine and spilled my diet coke all over herself and the floor. (Picture me with my jaw on the ground.)

She sighed, said a few choice words, and got a little red in the face. She then decided to clean herself off with her bare hands, remade my diet coke, handed it to me, and told me that I owed her $7.31 (or something.) AS IF NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY HAD HAPPENED.

I said, "Jane, please tell me where I should go to get help for you."

To Jane's benefit, she was probably embarrassed. But to my horror, she looked at me, told me she was feeling better and began wiping up the water/diet coke with napkins.

This was beyond ridiculous. I was nauseous, angry, sad, hurt, and I felt very alone. I immediately went to the other end of the mall to the other Great American Cookie (why North Star has two, i'll never know) and gave the manager a brief synopsis of what happened. The manager was about 19 years old and began to giggle.

I immediately realized that he didn't seem to think this was out of the realm of possibilities of things Jane would do. So I and went and found the mall manager and explained the gory details of Jane, the urine, and my ruined appetite. At the sound of the word "urine" the manager called for security and took off in a run towards Great American Cookie.

I returned to the other Great American Cookie, got my refund, and went home. I spent hours trying to convince myself that surely Jane was in labor and her water broke or something more plausible than the fact that I had just witnessed a grown woman pee on the floor in a crowded mall in a place that serves food.

I wish I could go with the whole labor thing. But three days later when I went back, Jane was still there, still working. Maybe still peeing on floors.

Fashion Police: I Give Up My Miranda Rights!

I'll be the first to admit it, I'm a sucker for award shows. The glitz, glamour, fashion, awkward speeches and unexpected bloopers keep me entertained and make for a very enjoyable Sunday evening. I have a viewing ritual which includes Chinese take out and my couch. Last night was no exception: the SAG awards.

Rather than bore you with my analysis of the awards (Natalie Portman, why are you so awkward???) I am going to take the opportunity to tell you my thoughts about the second most important facet: the fashion!

Top 3 Best Dressed:

1. Claire Danes

This dress is fabulous, as she is fabulous. Love the print and the belt-- which was an added touch to several dresses last night. I also love the feminine ruffles along the bottom and sweetheart neckline. So appropriate for Claire Danes who is so sweet and precious.

2. January Jones

I love pretty much everything January Jones wears and last night was no exception. I am loving the high neckline so many actresses are going with this year as well as the mermaid tail bottom. My only rant for this look is Ms. Jones' updo which I think dates her a little bit.

3. Mila Kunis

Love the color. We saw lots of reds, oranges and pinks last night and in my opinion, this is the best of the best. Again, this dress is a belted print. I think it is PERFECT for Mila Kunis--- glamorous but laid back-  just like her!

As for worst dressed, I don't want to be Criticial Cathy or Rude Rhonda, so i'll be turning back to the days of rush with a Pro, Con, Pro format.

1. Jenna Fischer 

1) Pro: Jenna Fischer seems like a really nice person in her interviews. 2) Con: This dress is just terrible. Awful. First of all... the color. Way to stand out on the red carpet. NOT! Secondly, the cut... it was not flattering and made her hips and bottom look big. Ugh. I love you Jenna Fischer, but I hate this dress. 3) Pro: Jenna Fischer's ponytail was fun and appropriate for the more laid back SAG awards.

2. Natalie Portman

 

1) Pro: White is in! I like the sequin touch at the top! 2) Con: Okay, yes, she is pregnant. Being pregnant, however, does not excuse showing up in a wrinkled dress. All I could stare at the entire time were the wrinkles on this dress. It made me wonder why the heck her stylist A) recommended this, knowing it would crease under her belly or B) didn't have an assistant bring a steamer to get the creases out before she got out of the limo, during restroom breaks, etc. You are the leading lady this go-around Portman. Get it together! 3) Pro: I LOVE Natalie's earrings from Tiffany's. Her jewelry was valued at $2 million last night!

3. Paz de la Huerta

1) Pro: Paz has perfected the celebrity-on-red-carpet pout. 2) Con: This dress is the epitome of combining a God-Awful color, God- Awful lipstick, and too many trends at once. First of all, coffee colored lipstick hasn't been in since oh, I don't know, my mom wore Estee Lauder circa 1991.

 Secondly, this look sends me back to second grade, Leon Springs Elementary, Ocean Week:

My advice: next time you opt for the mermaid finish, I'd think about leaving the sequins at home. Scales are never flattering. 3) Pro: Paz is Spanish and that makes me jealous.

Have a great Monday y'all!

Sister sister!

I hope that took you back to the days of Tia and Tamara Mowry.

This is my sister, Kathryn: 

Heh heh, just kidding. That is Kathryn's dog, Wrigley. Wrigley is part lab, part pit bull. According to Kathryn, she is a lab. Wrigley and I have a love/hate relationship because even though she can be sweet, she is a spaz and sometimes she annoys me. I prefer laid back animals, like Banks:

Please ignore my wrinkled sheet

Side story about Banks and the difference between Mike and I in a nutshell: Yesterday, Banks ate a little too quickly and threw up twice. I had already left for work and so I had no idea this happened until I asked Mike how Banks was (yes, okay, I'm a crazy cat lady.) Mike casually mentions 20 minutes into our Gchat conversation that Banks is sick and that I might want to wash the sheets. The cat had thrown up on MY SIDE of the bed and Mike  just wiped it up and left for the library. To Mike's defense, he is in the middle of studying for the Bar. I, on the other hand, can hardly be around cat vomit (its a DISGUSTING smell) and would have sanitized our entire bedroom, washed all of the sheets and the comforter, and probably taken the day off to make sure Banks was okay. But, I'm a little neurotic.  Thank you God for a laid back husband. On the other hand, transfer a little of my Type-A to him so that he never leaves cat vomit on my side of the bed again. Amen.

Anyway, here is a picture of Kathryn with Wrigley:

For those of you who don't have a sister, I'm sorry. For those of you who don't have Kathryn as a sister, I'm also sorry. 

WARNING: the following paragraph is filled with emotions and love. I apologize in advance if that isn't your thing on a Friday morning. You can skip ahead.

Now, I can't get too mushy here because I might start crying and that would be inappropriate for where I am right now. But I do want to tell you about my little sister so that when I mention her you won't feel like she is a stranger.

Kathryn and her fantastic boyfriend, Wayne.

First of all, she is fiercely loyal. For example, when I was in middle/high school she would listen in on my phone conversations (such a little sister thing to do, by the way.) When girls would call and be crass, she would yell at them! Not that I was a loser and had girls that were constantly calling me up to make me feel like crap, but when they did, Kathryn was there for me. On the other hand, she would also do this with boys that I liked. One time, when I was in 6th grade and a HUGE nerd, this popular boy named Joseph called my house (okay, I was a cute, shy nerd) and she announced on the phone that "I was going through puberty." He never called again. In retrospect, he wore Jncos and he was probably in a gang. SATown what what!

Secondly, Kathryn will be friends with ANYONE as long as they are a nice person with a good heart. I tend to be a little more selective. Not my sister- she loves all- including those that no one else wants to love. Kathryn goes to a college that I've heard rumors about being a little cliquish. Kath has many groups of friends and about 2000 friends on the FB (which obviously measures what a  great friend you are).

Next, Kathryn is HILARIOUS. She was voted funniest person in her senior class and can always manage to make me smile. She is very smart and so this helps her whip wit out of her behind like no one's business. My knee slapping sense of humor always seems to get overshadowed by Kathryn's, but thats okay, this post isn't about me...

Also, Kathryn is very brave. You see, Kath has OCD.  She has had to live with OCD (germs) since she a little kid and she still deals with it on a day to day basis. I can't talk much more about it because I am tearing up, but I wish that I was half as brave as my sister.

Last but not least, Kathryn is also great because she gives wonderful presents. For example, an 80 minute massage at Riviera Spa in Dallas. 

Yesterday, I cashed in on Kathryn's gift with Jessica. All I have to say is go. Go now. Scratch out your plans and schedule a massage with Jessica today. This is what she kind of looks like:

I was a little nervous too. 

But don't be, just go and let her rub and work her magic. 

Also, and this is getting really personal, but I had never had my bum rubbed before. No, not in a weird way. I don't know if this is a normal practice in Dallas, but this was the first time I've experienced it. It also could have been the message I exuded when I walked into the room,  "I'm okay with it if you're okay with it," you know, since I'm so laid back and all.

Either way, I have no regrets.

It was the best massage I've ever had.

Happy Friday y'all.

Little known fact: I am on IMDB

My name might be spelled wrong for some reason, but I am on IMDB. 


You see, I am really lucky because when I come to work I get to work with one of my best friends, Bart. I could go on and on about how much he has taught me, how he has been there for me during my darkest hours, and how he makes this Type-A lady lighten up and think outside of the box. But i'll save the sap for his birthday card.


Anyway, in Bart's spare time, he writes and makes movies. Bart and his writing partner, Jason, have several projects going on, including a movie in development with real life movie stars attached (Jason Priestly, Debra Jo Rupp i.e. the mom from That 70's Show... go check it out!)

P.S. My wonderful cousin, Brooke, did the artwork for this poster 

For whatever reason Bart and Jason have allowed me to assist with the wardrobe for one of their short films, Virgin Mary Christmas AND for their teenage horror web series, Throwing Stones. I'm not exactly sure why, but I love these guys and believe in their work, and am very thankful for the opportunity be a part of what they create.


Today in particular, I want to plug Throwing Stones. Throwing Stones is a psychological teenage (PG-13) horror webseries. Think Breakfast Club from hell. 

This web series has gotten great reviews from horror websites around the world. It really is revolutionary in that there hasn't been a teenage horror web series made. Bart and Jason have worked tirelessly on this project and different web venues literally begged them for the rights to show the series on their site. They have great talent attached to it, and many sponsors that give away cool stuff every week on their live web show.


What shows the sponsors and other potential sponsors that a Season 2 should be made is the number of viewers it has each week. Each show is on average three minutes long. There have been four episodes made so far- perfect for the short mental break that you need while plugging along at work today.


You can watch each episode here: http://www.throwingstoneswebseries.com/

By watching, you not only support me and my friends but also local Dallas artistic talent. 


 Thanks for your support. Yay for Thursday!

Lunch Lady Land

Every morning when I get to school, I have a routine that ends in checking out the top news stories on CNN or MSNBC (sorry Fox, your website looks like a tabloid newspaper.)

This morning when I checked CNN, I found this article:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/01/21/nutrition.year.review/index.html

Basically, an anonymous teacher at a public school in the Midwest was horrified by what her students were eating for lunch each day. She decided to expose this madness by eating school lunch every day, taking pictures of her meals (trust me, part of the experience is trying to figure out WHAT you're eating) and blogging about her experiences. When I thought about doing this, I wanted to throw up. That is a problem.

This picture doesn't do school lunch justice. Usually the kids buy cookies or ice cream and a sugary fruit drink  too.

I want to discuss school lunches with you today for several reasons. Here is why you, who probably have no affiliation with public school cafeterias at this time, should care:

1. You may have children in the future who will be subjected to the food in public school cafeterias some day

2. You have a heart. Did you know that for many of our students this is the last meal they will have for the day? How sad to think that the one time I eat I get pizza with stale crust, cold artificial cheese, and rubbery sausage that is only about 30% real meat?

3. You pay taxes--- and your money pays for the medicaid/medicare bills of obese people who are losing their legs to diabetes, having heart attacks, strokes, and gastric bypass surgeries. In fact, in a 2003 study, taxpayers were paying $39 BILLION a year in obesity related medical costs. Newsflash: the obesity epidemic is getting worse.  Any hope of making it better starts with teaching kids today how to eat nutritious foods and plan healthy meals.

Now, this isn't a political blog. I'm not about mandating calorie limits (have you been to Europe lately?) or dictating what the American people can buy and eat. BUT, I am on a soapbox today because it makes me sad that we are failing our kids. At least set them up to succeed! If they choose to mess up their lives as adults by eating their way to death then at least we can rest assured that we laid a healthy foundation  for them as children. 

Obesity epidemic by state- Texas is in the RED- meaning  more than 25% of people here are obese.

The bottom line is that for nine months out of the year, kids are taught that pizza, mashed potatoes, fruit soaked in high fructose corn syrup, ice cream and a soda is an acceptable meal every day. Every meal! Never mind the fact that most of this stuff is processed, fake, and tastes disgusting. 

There have been a few days that I've had to eat school lunch. There is one semi-healthy choice on the menu each day: a baked potato. This is assuming that I eat 1/2 of it, don't load it, and skip on my sides. I stopped getting this last year because three other teachers and I ate them and we all got stomachaches plus other unmentionable side effects. Now my option is a chicken sandwich, which thankfully is edible- not nutritious- but I can eat it without feeling  sick afterwards.

For our kids on government assistance, they don't have this option. They are REQUIRED to pick out two sides- one has to be a vegetable. Guess what counts as a veggie? Potatoes. Guess what is served every day? Potatoes. Mashed and loaded with butter. Or fried- as in FRENCH FRIES COUNT AS A VEGETABLE. Sure, there might be the occasional day of carrot sticks, but guess what the kids don't put on their trays? Ding ding ding ding ding ding- Common Sense Bell (all credit goes to Dr. Smith for this phrase.)

I am not above the law- if I ate this way I would weigh 400 pounds too! Thankfully, I had a mother who made my lunch and cooked dinner for my family every night. I learned what to eat and what not to eat through her example and advice. No, I am not 105 lbs and yes, I occasionally indulge in pizza, french fries, ice cream and the like. I should exercise more. BUT I know what the basics are. I monitor what I eat during the week and try to not over do it on the weekends. My mother set me up for success.

Many of these kids have parents that are A) working two jobs- one through the night- and so the kids are left to fend for themselves for dinner and/or B) working, and after a long day of work, the drivethru at McDonalds is a faster, easier, more crowd pleasing option than going home to prepare a meal. Now, more than likely I will be a working mother. I completely empathize here because the last thing I want to do some nights is make dinner for Mike and I after a particularly stringent day (and that is without kids!) I understand it isn't easy-- but easy is not always right!

On top of this, the crap that is served in cafeterias is CHEAP. Times are tough, the state just cut our education budget by hundreds of millions of dollars, and serving kids nutritious foods doesn't fit into that because it can be costly.

I often wonder what serving a nutritious meal at lunch (followed by a 15 minute nap time) would do for our kid's test scores. Imagine how much more energy they would have to participate in the after lunch math lesson if they had grilled chicken and a salad versus nachos and a chocolate chip cookie?

Jamie Oliver, The Naked Chef, has made it his personal goal to change the food that our kids are being served in schools. He had a special out last year called Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution which tried to expose this issue by visiting the school cafeterias of the fattest city in America: Huntington, West Virginia. You can visit his website to sign his petition to keep cooking alive in our cafeterias, view personal recipes, and learn more about what the government is doing to advocate child nutrition in schools.

And, if you are really fired up, my advice to anyone about anything really is to write your State Representatives and Senators.

Okay... breathe... stepping off my soap box...

Happy Hump Day!