Strange Occurrences at Great American Cookie

I'm back! Again. Due to the ice storm, hubby had to study for the BAR at home and as my computer is not functioning he had reign over the internets. That is not a typo, it makes me laugh when old people call it "the internets."

Anyway, today, when talking to my friend K, I was reminded of a two very strange stories that involve me and a company called Great American Cookie. I've decided that this is what I will blog about today.

First of all, I should say that I am a sucker for Great American Cookie. It is really hard for me to walk past one and not buy a cookie. This is strange because A) I'm not really a dessert person and B) I don't even really like the ones with the icing all over them. I simply cannot resist the warm pecan chocolate chip cookies that they bake and so on occasion i'll stop by and get one. 

However, after two strange back to back trips to the cookie counter, I had to stop doing that.

The first incident occurred in Austin, Texas at Barton Creek Mall. I was in line behind a lady and her two sons. 

The older son, around 7 or 8 years old, was very excited about getting a cookie. Probably as excited externally as I was internally. Anyway, he could not decide what he wanted and went from one end of the counter to the other, looking, smelling, smearing his little hands and face on the glass. He began to grow anxious. This was overwhelming to him.

So he threw up. 

All over the glass. And his shoes and the floor. The boy behind the counter was horrified, I was upset. I think I even said, "ew sick" or something rude like that.

Needless to say, I didn't get a cookie that day.

Here is where it gets really weird:

About a month later (allowing myself time to get over barf boy) I was at North Star Mall in San Antonio. I decided to pick up some cookies for my sister and of course, get one or two for myself as well.

I walked up behind this lady wearing  a fur coat (irrelevant) asking the woman behind the counter if she was okay. We will call her Jane. I looked up and saw that the Jane was pretty pale and profusely sweating. Jane assured Faux Fox that she was fine, sold her some cookies, and then it was my turn.

I stepped up to the counter to place my order with Jane, when all of a sudden Jane grabbed her stomach and yelped in pain. Jane began to moan "muhhhhh uuuuhhhhh ooooowwwww." I proceeded to ask Jane if she was alright. Again, Jane tried to assure me that she was. So I placed my order.

Jane backed away from the counter and continued to moan and grab her stomach as she got my cookies ready. I let Jane know that I could go get someone to assist her if she needed me to. Jane really seemed to be in quite a substantial amount of pain, but alas, she once again told me that she was fine. 

Jane put the cookies on the counter and went to get my diet coke. All of a sudden, mid pour, Jane stopped, grabbed her belly and let out a gut curdling animalistic howl.

Then she peed on the floor.

In the middle of Great American Cookie.

In front of me.

It gets worse. 

Jane was in so much pain that she just kind of collapsed in her urine and spilled my diet coke all over herself and the floor. (Picture me with my jaw on the ground.)

She sighed, said a few choice words, and got a little red in the face. She then decided to clean herself off with her bare hands, remade my diet coke, handed it to me, and told me that I owed her $7.31 (or something.) AS IF NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY HAD HAPPENED.

I said, "Jane, please tell me where I should go to get help for you."

To Jane's benefit, she was probably embarrassed. But to my horror, she looked at me, told me she was feeling better and began wiping up the water/diet coke with napkins.

This was beyond ridiculous. I was nauseous, angry, sad, hurt, and I felt very alone. I immediately went to the other end of the mall to the other Great American Cookie (why North Star has two, i'll never know) and gave the manager a brief synopsis of what happened. The manager was about 19 years old and began to giggle.

I immediately realized that he didn't seem to think this was out of the realm of possibilities of things Jane would do. So I and went and found the mall manager and explained the gory details of Jane, the urine, and my ruined appetite. At the sound of the word "urine" the manager called for security and took off in a run towards Great American Cookie.

I returned to the other Great American Cookie, got my refund, and went home. I spent hours trying to convince myself that surely Jane was in labor and her water broke or something more plausible than the fact that I had just witnessed a grown woman pee on the floor in a crowded mall in a place that serves food.

I wish I could go with the whole labor thing. But three days later when I went back, Jane was still there, still working. Maybe still peeing on floors.